bal·ance

1. 1.

   keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall.

   “a mug that she balanced on her knee”
2. 2.

   offset or compare the value of (one thing) with another.

   the cost of obtaining such information needs to be balanced against its benefits”

Part of me feels like I am forever searching for the perfect recipe for achieving a balanced life. What I am recognizing as my life has changed from single gal to working wife, is that balance isn’t really something you have, it is something you do; balance is something we create. It would be a lie to claim that  balanced is achieved all the time. At some point, shit will hit the fan. What we must remember is that in order to treat balance like a verb, we can’t devalue ourselves or “compare” our own worth against other people. Once we make that decision, to live true to our own happiness and values, we can add or take away elements in our life to make balance work for us. AKA- you don’t get to tell me what I can or cannot handle and you don’t get to tell me when I make a change. #byehaters

Here is how I am #becomingwiza about balance these days:

Actually, you can quit.

I am a quitter. I quit jobs that don’t pay me well, I’ve quit men who treated me like shit, and I quit the overpriced gym when I wasn’t getting results.  For once, I give you permission to quit what isn’t making you feel valued. Now, don’t go quitting your job if you don’t have anything else lined up. Don’t file for divorce or be all kinds of ignorant to your responsibilities. That’s not what I am saying. And, you can  still totally quit something that isn’t making you happy in a responsible way. For example, if your career isn’t evolving like you wanted and you’ve had every type of conversation about it with your boss, find a new one! You are someone who offers a lot to your company and you deserve to be treated as such. Create a plan, write a new resume, quit and live happily ever after.

Stop exhausting yourself over other peoples expectation of you. 

What are your priorities? 

You can’t manage boo if you don’t know what is your first priority. Maybe work is your first priority, if that is the case than let the people in your life know. No shame, do your thing! We simply don’t want people to feel like they are not important to you. A quick fix is just letting them know about the project your working on, the promotion you are trying to earn, or that your focus right now is grooming your career. Identifying where you are spending your time and why, is part one. Part two is letting people in on it so that they can either help you or get out of your way and simply cheer you and your badass self on.

Someone else’s priorities for you are not the same as having your own. Have your own, screw the rest.

Guilt is for suckers 

My Mexican-Catholic guilt is STRONG. I joke…but really. And guess what? My guilt changes nothing. Own your decisions. You couldn’t make it to the party, or happy hour with colleagues, maybe you feel guilty about spending money. Whatever it is, STOP. Please see above and ask yourself did you do or not do something because it wasn’t a priority? If yes, go on with your life!  Create boundaries of what is inside your priority list, and what is not. At the end of the day, saying no should feel like freedom. Embracing where you spend your time and treating people like shit are different. You can say no and not feel bad about it if you know exactly what you will take on, and simply what you won’t.

The opposite of guilt is self love. Know your worth.

I know that balance is something I am always #becomingwiza about as my life continues to change. Balance will always evolve, just as we evolve. What works for me now won’t work later and that is totally fine. I mean balance at 21 sure as hell isn’t what balance looks like today. And thank God for for that! Wherever you are in life, know that you have the power to make balance work for you. There will be days you feel like an asshole, it’s O.K., stay the course…know your truth…and stop comparing your value to someone else.